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TFC featured in coaching newsletter
To open our profile, click on this link.
http://www.therelationshipcoaches.com/newsletter/september07/notes_from_the_field.html
Thanks Faith and Marita for asking us to be part of your new on-line publication!
TFC Book Review - Leadership and Self-Deception
Title: Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
Author: The Arbinger Institute
Format: Hardcover, 175pp.
ISBN: 1576750949
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Pub
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Leadership and Self-Deception is another one of those parable stories we love to read (and write - if you haven't read, Teacher's Pet or Judge for Yourself, click here) It's the story of Tom, who has just started working as a senior manager for Zagrum Company.
"You have a problem," Bud, the executive vice president tells Tom. "A problem you are going to have to solve if you are going to make it at Zagrum." The problem is self-deception, the inability to see that one has a problem.
The subtitle of the book is "Getting Out of the Box". Bud explains to Tom there are two ways of looking at every set of behaviors: in or out of "the box", the term for being self-deceived (versus "thinking outside the box" - different use of the box). In the box, we see ourselves and others as mere objects - headcount, "that woman," "little people", "worker bees". Out of the box, we see others as real people with names, families and interesting stories.
L&S-D does not promote group-hugs or singing "Kumbaya". Zagrum Company is the industry leader (we never do learn what industry), and the characters are hard-nosed professionals who do not tolerate sub-par performance. But the way Zagrum employees accomplish their mission is revolutionary: they work with, disagree with and reprimand one another from "out of the box" - they focus on the humanity of their colleagues, rather than their own self-interest.
In many ways, L&S-D does not promote anything new. Even though we have heard many of the lessons before, we don't always really learn them. It makes a compelling business case and reminds us how much we contribute to the situations we don't like. As Tom says:
Once I get in the box, I need the other guy to keep being a jerk so that I'll remain justified in blaming him for being a jerk. And since when I'm out of the box I neither need nor provide others to be jerks, I can actually ease, rather than exacerbate, tough situations.
To order Leadership and Self-Deception, click here.
TFC Book Review - Change Your Questions, Change Your Life
Title: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
Author: Marilee G. Adams, PhD
Paperback: 150 pages
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
ISBN-10: 1576752410
ISBN-13: 978-1576752418
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Please phrase it in the form of a question....
As Jeopardy! fans, we know the importance of putting answers in the form of a question. But Marilee Adams showed us the importance of forgetting about answers in favor of QuestionThinking(tm).
Her profound yet straightforward work, is showcased in her book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. In fact, the title sums up the entire premise.
According to Adams, we constantly, often unconsciously, ask ourselves questions:
Ø what time is it?
Ø what time do I need to leave for work?
Ø what should I wear?
Ø will it be appropriate for the meetings?
Ø is this jacket warm enough/too warm?
and so on.
In addition to logistics, we ask ourselves other questions, such as
Ø did I sound stupid?
Ø what does he think of me?
Ø why did she do it that way?
The questions we ask and how we answer them determine how we move forward. Some Q&A pairs take us in a useful direction - what Adams calls the "leaner" path, and some take us in a not-useful direction, the "judger" path.
In Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, Adams explains her theories through the story of Ben Knight, a professional whose life seems to be crashing around him - and with whose struggles we can all identify. By following Adams' process of identifying and changing his "Self-Qs", Ben makes positive, dramatic changes on both personal and professional fronts.
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is a quick read and a long think. The story is engaging and the techniques are elegantly simple, so the book's power is deceptive. On a second or third time through, don't just read the book, work it. Ask yourself:
Ø What questions are you asking yourself?
Ø Are they taking you in the direction you want?
Ø If not, what new questions will replace the current ones?
If your experience is anything like ours, the habit of noticing your questions will in itself be life changing. Just remember to phrase any answers in the form of new questions!
To order your personal copy of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, click here.
Introducing TFC Book Reviews
TFC launches blog!
Welcome to The Flourishing Company's blog!
As part of our mission to change the way people experience work, we are excited to launch this new site to keep you current on work-related resources and information.
We continue our promise not to flood your Inbox, and only post items we think are worth your valuable time. We welcome your responses - let us know what you think about your work experience and how this blog is (or isn't) useful. We will selectively post replies on the blog site.
Keep flourishing!